i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
