Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
