im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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