I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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