i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
