True but thats because hes a fetus.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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