yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
