There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
