he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
