its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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