im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize