So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
