He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
