his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
