Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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