My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
