you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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