we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
