you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
