Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
