he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You were trust falling into bushes
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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