She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
