pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
