Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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