I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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