God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
