So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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