From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
