Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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