No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
