Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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