We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
