Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
