I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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