Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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