I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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