Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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