quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
