watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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