I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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