$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
