just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
