it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
