I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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