Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
God, I missed his penis.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
