Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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