I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
