if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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