Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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