I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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