OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i've created a new STD.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
