i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
