Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
