I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
