So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
