Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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