if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
