i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
