No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
